After my last blog, a mommy I know commented that she would have been in tears if she still cried. I know exactly how she feels. Mommies don't cry. We don't. It's not what mommies do. We are the seamstresses of our families; we mend the broken and we reconstruct destruction. Mommies are the CEOs, the CFOs, the Engineers, the Chefs, the Chauffers, the Electricians, the Plumbers, the Maids, the Dictators, the Farmers, the Personal Shoppers, the Therapists, the Pillars of our families. We are powerful just for the simple fact that we exist. Without Mom, the home kindgom will fall. Of course there's Dad, but it's Mothers Day...Fathers Day is another day, another blog. And speaking of Dad, Mommy takes care of him too. We primp and fluff, and make ourselves pretty. We hug and love and support. Powerful, ever-strong, ever-lasting, always there Mom. She has no time for tears. She is our fearless leader.
Bill Gates doesn't cry. The president doesn't cry. The director of nursing doesn't cry. Your boss at work doesn't cry. Leaders don't cry. They have too much responsibility to cry. They are evil, they are mean, they know exactly what to do in times of crisis. Steadfast rocks who are incapable of tears, aren't they?
Perhaps. Or perhaps not. These people have many of the things that others want. Money, power, endless whatnots and who-zits to keep them happy. Sure mommies may not have money or endless whatnots and who-zits that are worth anything to anyone other than the person whose pants' pocket they came from, but they have love.
Boundless, energetic, fearless, overwhelmingly fierce love coming at them from every direction. From the Extra-Special dirty that her children make her house on a daily basis to the Extra-Special snail house with a custom built swimming pool that her child made as a pet "Just For Her" TM. The Extra-Special love that an adult daughter will give her father in the hospital will darn near annoy the hell out of any nurse on the Earth, believe me, I know. The fistful of beautiful flowers handed to you straight out of your carefully cultivated garden is Extra-Special...never mind that there are none left in the yard. The Extra-Special $350.00 that you wire that child whose lights are out, car needs fixed, is going hungry trying to feed his or her own children. Extra-Special Love, from Your Child, TM. Made exclusively by YOU, for YOU. No substitutions, exclusions, limit as many as your uterus can handle before falling out every time you sneeze.
This week a woman at work lost her two-year-old nephew to a drowning accident. Yesterday, a day before Mothers Day, that child's mother buried her baby. Buried her heart, her very being, her muddy floors and empty food wrappers, her crayon-covered walls, her fingerprinted furniture. And most certainly she unearthed her tears. I could not cry when my co-worker told me about the incident, I cannot imagine the loss. I do not want to imagine the loss. "I am sorry," I said. It was not awkward. It was simple and we both understood why. He was not ours and we had no tears as I gave her a hug. When a child is born, a Mommy is born, and with that we bury our tears.
Tearless Mommies be brave and true to your children. They love you from the bottom of their muddy toesies to the top of their jelly-smeared headsies. From them you earn your superpowers, the unsurpassed strength that makes you pick up that mop, wash those same clothes you just washed yesterday, cook sloppy joes the same day you put a fresh tablecloth on, and do third grade math even though you don't want to-or even remember how! The ability to trade high heels for flip-flops, wear smudged nail polish constantly, put your hair up instead of curling it just so, these too stem from motherhood. Sure you're stretch-marked, a bit chubby around the middle, exhausted and it shows, but you are home. You are the beautiful princess in your children's drawings-and look at how SKINNY they made you! Your hair is flowing and that dress looks fabulous on you! And just LOOK at how happy you are! Now granted you may not be made of purple crayon or have green apple colored curls, but when you hear "That's YOU, Mommy!" you believe it.
Mommies, you are the steadfast pillars of your home. You are the best that your family could ask for. So hold your arms open to your Little Muddies and welcome them to you. Be glad today and every day that you have buried your tears and that your world has become Extra-Special Dirty.
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