It has been a year in the ICU now, Little Ones. I can almost hear the sound of applause and cheers inside my head-or perhaps it's the rustling noise of the bags of tomatoes opening and preparing to be thrown? In all honesty I'm kidding (maybe?). I feel that a year in the Posh, Palatial, Patient Care Zone has grown me, has educated me, and has brought me yet three steps backwards and 3.5 steps forward in understanding myself and my views on the world in general.
It is also this week that I finish semester TWO of my Super Master's in Nursing Program (*TM, of course). I have evolved my dabbling in nursing theory and ethics into a full-fledged desire to remain wholly, yet logically, idealistic and now have the Alan Watts books to prove it.
Judgment free zone does not just apply to Planet Fitness, friends, yet we are all guilty of appraising a situation and making assumptions, whether it be of ourselves or others. I am not innocent of this and do not wish anyone to think that I am. I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I do not know if I am always doing the right thing, saying the right thing, acting in the appropriate way. What I do know is that I am satisfied in knowing that I can admit this openly. I am satisfied in knowing that I do my absolute best at each specific moment. I can testify that Starbuck's Double Shots may have an effect on my performance.....and may also induce 0230 runs through the PPPCZ stairwells and into hallways that I have never ventured to before in my night-shift-induced bear-in-hibernation phase.
I feel I have done well. I feel that I have made an impact in many lives. I feel satisfied in my life and that I can appreciate the little things-like the fact that I discovered this morning....my children's favorite things about one another all center around the general concept of sharing (with a pinch of love here and there).
I feel proud. I feel proud of myself for what I have done, as irrelevant in the grand scheme that it is. I feel proud of my husband, who allows myself and my children to pursue our oddities to their fullest, and who is wise and giving beyond any other that I know.
I am mostly thankful that #3 has finally lost her tone-deafness and CAN actually carry a tune- in a bucket or thrown over her shoulder.....
Such random thoughts with one thought in mind....I appreciate the sharing, and I share what I appreciate. So what if it's vulgar, inappropriate, off-topic, overly-idealistic, off-the-wall, or-even-overly-hyphenated? It's who I am and who I will continue to be. And THAT, is what she said.....
