To those who have taught me....I thank you. To those who have stood beside me amidst bodily fluids that are not our own....to those who have ever straddled a hypoxic patient with me, who have handed me an IV gtt across a bed and told me the rate, those of you who have laughed at me for my naivete, who have offered me a suggestion, a hope, a hand, or your thoughts.....to the man who puts up with my internal struggle of idealism......I thank you. My first 8 months in the ICU and the first semester of of my masters degree have humbled me. But they have strengthened me. I have become empowered to believe that my idealism is catchy....much like the respiratory crud that passes through the region and is dumped upon the ICU at holiday time. But I am not your senile grandmother who is easily dismissed with an ICU admission and a "mandatory" phone call right at shift change.
I am a force to be reckoned with. I have overcome illness. I have been supportive. I am educated. I am willing. I learn from you all. My own actions are not perfect, far from it. I like my wine. I love my children. I am faithful to my husband, my children, my employer, my patients, my profession, and myself.
I've been told I'm Buddhist. Perhaps I believe this? The ole Dalai Lama makes some sense, no? We must each find enlightenment in our own way. Can you fall asleep honest each night? Do you even try?
Most importantly, are you honest to yourself? Life is a circus in a nightmare sometimes....chaos reigns when reason is the opponent. Idealism is easily crushed when faced with Big System, Inc. I say stand strong, Little Ones. Learn and understand. If you cannot, watch from afar. We are all together in the ethical battles of daily life. We are all afraid to let our little voices be heard over the ringleader's holler....
Keep whispering, Little Ones.... And someday, your voice may be the one that is heard.
